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In between shopping and wrapping presents, I have been reading some of Dave Barry's old columns. I used to read them regularly in the Chicago Tribune newspaper when I lived in Chicago and I haven't read any in years.
I came across a column that he wrote about his own experiences having a colonoscopy that had me ROFLMAO!! (English translations..rolling on the floor laughing my
The perfect stress reliever for me is laughter and it's free,
Happy Holidays and Happy Quotable Sunday!
On the subject of Colonoscopies... by Dave Barry
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
And the best one of all.
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'