BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S.

A friend of mine sent this to me today and I thought it was cute.  It's a little off color, as my Mother used to say, but we can handle it!

A lady walks into Tiffany's. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.  As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little 'whoops' and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her and he's good looking as well..

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's.

He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers,
"Madam . . if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price ."



Audrey Hepburn was so beautiful.   I had forgotten just how much!
Breakfast At Tiffany's is one of my top romantic movies.
I love happy endings !!!
 

Just A Tiny Laugh!

This is an old one, but still funny!

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half- baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Star Trek: How It Should Have Ended!

I found this video on YouTube after visiting my friend Laoch
He listed several different links today in a post titled "Random Bytes."
I followed one of these links and found this video.
Anyway, I thought it was funny and wanted to share it with all of the many Star Trek Fans that are roaming mysteriously and not so mysteriously through Cyberspace!
Let me know what you think, I know you're out there...somewhere... Mr Spock!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

I found this video on YouTube this morning and it brought back memories of our first apartment near Devon and California in Chicago. We lived on the second floor of a small bungalow, with the owners living on the bottom floor. Not the best situation. They heard every sound that we made and we were newlyweds! ICK

Anyway back to my point, we had street parking when we lived on Fairfield, so when we had a major snow storm like we had today, we would have to shovel our car out every morning before work. Luckily we only had one car at the time, but it was a chore. We were young and we didn't really mind too much. After work, of course, our nicely shoveled parking spot was always occupied with another car.

Some of our neighbors were smarter then we were, they would put their kitchen chairs in their shoveled spots when they left for work.
Then when they returned, they would take their chairs inside and use them for dinner. Everyone seemed to honor the chair substitutions and not park in those spaces.

We never did the chair deal. I really liked my kitchen chairs, they were new and made of wood, and I wasn't going to put them outside. Nooooooooooooo!!!!!

Luckily we only lived there a year. I put an ad in the local Evanston Review that spring for a garage apartment to rent. We had eight calls and we picked the one with garage parking!
So, no more street parking!

Hope you enjoy the clip, if you can, watch it to the end!

A Few Adult Laughs

Just in case you're tired of the craziness that this season can sometimes bring, a minute of laughter or even just a smile can work wonders!
TO MY FRIENDS & FAMILY................ ENJOY!!!!




"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
Jay Leno



"The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other."
Johnny Carson





"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall."
Larry Wilde

Happy Holidays !

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!
'What powerful rivers!
'What beautiful animals!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river,
he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
& saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his

left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years,teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'

'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?

Am I to count you as a believer?

The atheist looked directly into the light,

'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian'?

' Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.

All I can add is another Amen!!!!

Let's blame it on Rio

So the Windy City lost out to Rio to host the 2016 Olympics, despite full court press by the Obamas. What's the local spin? Crocodile tears or genuine devastation? Was this a "be careful what you wish for because it might come true" situation? Was Dyche Stadium in Evanston, Il (  (or whatever it's called these days) going to be one of the venues?

Let me put this in some sort of  perspective and  compare;
1. Lakeshore. vs.The Copacabana
2. Soldier Field vs. that 100,000 seat stadium with a moat to keep soccer hooligans off the field.
3.Girls wearing Bears jerseys vs. girls wearing string bikinis.
4. Big Willie vs. the huge Jesus statue on top of Sugarloaf Mountain
5.Venetian Nights vs. Carnival.
6.Chugging a Hamms in the bleachers vs. sipping a caipirinha(national cocktail of Brazil) in the cabana.
7.Polka vs. samba.
8,Lincoln Park vs. Tijuca Forest
9.Sammy vs. Ronaldo
10.Chicagoans vs.Cariocas (natives of Rio)

I must tell you that buried among the numerious newsspapers's handwringing about why the Olympic committee passed over Chicago (payback for American hubris, anti-Obama slapdown, etc.) is the fact that Brazil pledged $14 billion (that's billion with a "B") to put on the Games, which was more than double the amount pledged by anyone else.
So it all probably came down to money,
 Big surprise!!

For my Son

My son Kevin is still unemployed and still pursuing a career in forrestry.
Today he leaves for Shawnee National Park in downstate Illinois!
He just loves camping and hiking and I still do not understand why he picked us as parents.
My husband and I think that going camping means staying at a Holiday Inn near a State or National park!

I found this little joke to share with him ...but he just shook his head and continued packing his bags!
Hmmmm!

I laughed so maybe you will too!
Have a great weekend everyone!

Three Men on a Hike

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large
raging, Violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man
prayed:

'God, please give me the strength to cross the river.'

Poof! ... God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed:

'God, please give me
strength and the tools to cross the river'

Poof! .. God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he
was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed:

'God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the
river'

Poof! . He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one
hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

A living Will

A good friend sent me this cartoon this morning and I thought that before I forward it to my Representatives in the Congress, I would share it with you.

I think it's short enough for all of them to read .... what do you think?





Last night, my husband and I were sitting in the living room and I said to him, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

He got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.