Friday, April 24, 2009



According to a study by Northwestern University professor Daniel Molden, married couples who practice denial in how they perceive each other may have happier marriages.

Or maybe better stated the other way, couples who are brutally honest in their assessments of one another may be less ... blissful.

Here's the way columnist Meredith Small characterized the study:
"The typical pattern starts with falling head-over-heels for someone, with all its heart-thumping, starry-eyed craziness, and it takes awhile before that fog dissipates and the real object of desire comes into focus. Often, the truth doesn't hit until after marriage when the real person, warts and all, wakes up next to you in bed wearing a wedding ring."

To better quote the study: "What really stands out is the idea that satisfaction within any relationship is based on perception rather than actual fact, and therein lies the rub of not only love, but also of living with someone on intimate terms."

Or as I like to think, truth is in the eye of the beholder and we all have our own truths ! Sometimes wearing rose colored glasses is not a badd thing!

So is it rose colored glasses for you or the brutal truth machine?

20 comments:

  1. This is interesting. Thanks for posting it.

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  2. I was dumb and it was rose-colored glasses, but on the other hand I have four beautiful children that made it all more than worthwhile. You take your chances either way, I guess. Interesting post, Peggy. Good to see you back online, have missed you!

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  3. the glass is half full not half empty...i can't expect him to be perfect cause i'm not.

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  4. Loach;

    I thought it was intersting partly because it was from Northwestern....my home town Univeristy. Not usre I agree though!

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  5. Lin;

    I agree,the glass is always half full in this house...no other way to think !

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  6. Sylvia;

    Thanks for missing me, I went to visit my Mom in Ohio. Hard to leave her,she has an infection in her chest. Tisk!

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  7. Love the kitty giving me kisses!!! CUTE!!!

    I think denial is easy with kids who has time to ponder who we married?

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  8. Well, like the song says, if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with! LOL

    Must admit that ours isn't a perfect match, but there isn't much perfect in this world, so hey. I just try to look past it, so I suppose I'm one of those 'denial' folks: we certainly don't practice the brutal honesty here. Might get dangerous!

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  9. It's the art of compromise...and the half full glass approach. :)

    Maybe it's because we've known each other for so long, dated for 5 years before marrying [hey, I was in high school/college!]or don't fight because we both prefer to cool off first, then approach the subject.

    Either I got very lucky or I owe my Guardian Angel big time. :)

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  10. Hit 49;

    Thanks for your comment about my kissing cat, you're the first to say so!

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  11. Hope;

    I think that you attracted your luck. You seem so great, that you attracted the same!
    I feel incredibly blessed with my husband too!

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  12. Susan;

    You crack me up, I agree with everything you said! Nobody has the perfect match. It's give and take, and also to remember.... to be careful what you wish for... cause it's not always better!

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  13. My husband certainly isn't perfect, but neither am I. I will just leave it at that. LOL

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  14. Julie;

    Being perfect is not achievable...at least not for me.
    Pretty boring world if we were all perfect!
    Thanks Julie for stopping by1

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  15. I just like the study. Isn't it interesting that there is study about what we see through our glasses, rose colored or not.

    Kidding aside, I'm not sure, sometimes I see the truth and it hits me hard, other times I can see beyond the truth.

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  16. I know,very strange study for sure and from a male point of view.
    Thanks for liking my kissing Kitty too!

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  17. I think that makes sense. I read it to my husband over our morning coffee and his interpretation was brilliant, "If you're nit-picky about the other person, you won't be happy."

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  18. I linked her efrom another site. This is a good article! The way I've heard it ... Before marriage keep your eyes wide open to your partners personality quirks, etc. After marriage, become blind." That's overstating it a bit, but there is truth to it! Many of our spouses flaws eventually work themselves out or we learn to live with them, just as they do ours. My last two posts are about "Strengthing the Bonds" of marriage. I'd like to invite you for a read. WB

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  19. Well... Art is an engineer so he doesn't wear rose colored glasses. He sees all my flaws. Good thing he still loves me.

    Jim doesn't need rose colored glasses with you. You're beautiful and perfect without any sort of glasses.

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